I need help...

kickingtheblues · February 15th, 2010, 12:28 PM

I spent the majority of my life unhappy and depressed. When I was 27 I started reading some books on the law of attraction (Abraham-Hicks, and The Secret.. etc.) and I believe that those techniques DO work to create a happier healthier life... however.

I've just been really SAD the past few weeks. It started with a fight with my brother and now I'm just dragging... daily... I got happy, thought I kicked the depression, did kick the anti-depressants, and now I'm just crying every time I turn around. Over every little thing. Nothing seems to be going my way and I can't focus on anything but the negative. I've turned back into a downer... and it gets worse.

I'm getting married in October. I love that man, and our lives... but sometimes, thankfully only for brief moments... I just feel like I want to die. I used to do this when I was younger... I even tried, and was hospitalized for it... but now something seemingly minor but negative will happen, I'll start to cry, and then I'll start to doubt my existence... I don't WANT to do it... but I do... and it makes me feel worse.

I've got a great life, I don't know what is making me so sad. I'm seeing a hypnotherapist (to cut a sugar addiction), and doing everything I can to avoid negativity, or situations where I might be uncomfortable... but like happiness, when you can't focus on anything but sadness, all you find is more of it.

Anyway... I don't know why I'm writing this here... I guess because I'm too ashamed to say anything about it to anyone else because they've all been so pleased with my previous transformation into happiness. I am not interested in getting on anti-depressants again... not because I don't think they work... I wouldnt mind something herbal or holistic...

Maybe it's the sugar...I don't know... all I know is this sucks... I want to be happy and I can't stop crying.

nwkatie · February 16th, 2010, 10:12 PM

I've suffered from depression most of my life and I just turned 48. I understand completely what you are feeling - of course, anyone with depression does. Remember that there are major events happening in your life - even if they are happy ones. It causes a lot of stress. Why don't you want to go back on anti-depressants? Do you have bad side effects or do you just feel that you have failed if you do? My sister taught me something because I am so hard on myself. If I wouldn't say it to my daughter, then it is NOT okay to say to myself. Try to take it moment by moment and don't think of everything all at once. That overwhelms me to the point that I do nothing. You still have a great life, just be kind to yourself.

February 15th, 2010, 12:28 PM	#1
kickingtheblues Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 1	I need help... I spent the majority of my life unhappy and depressed. When I was 27 I started reading some books on the law of attraction (Abraham-Hicks, and The Secret.. etc.) and I believe that those techniques DO work to create a happier healthier life... however. I've just been really SAD the past few weeks. It started with a fight with my brother and now I'm just dragging... daily... I got happy, thought I kicked the depression, did kick the anti-depressants, and now I'm just crying every time I turn around. Over every little thing. Nothing seems to be going my way and I can't focus on anything but the negative. I've turned back into a downer... and it gets worse. I'm getting married in October. I love that man, and our lives... but sometimes, thankfully only for brief moments... I just feel like I want to die. I used to do this when I was younger... I even tried, and was hospitalized for it... but now something seemingly minor but negative will happen, I'll start to cry, and then I'll start to doubt my existence... I don't WANT to do it... but I do... and it makes me feel worse. I've got a great life, I don't know what is making me so sad. I'm seeing a hypnotherapist (to cut a sugar addiction), and doing everything I can to avoid negativity, or situations where I might be uncomfortable... but like happiness, when you can't focus on anything but sadness, all you find is more of it. Anyway... I don't know why I'm writing this here... I guess because I'm too ashamed to say anything about it to anyone else because they've all been so pleased with my previous transformation into happiness. I am not interested in getting on anti-depressants again... not because I don't think they work... I wouldnt mind something herbal or holistic... Maybe it's the sugar...I don't know... all I know is this sucks... I want to be happy and I can't stop crying.

February 16th, 2010, 10:12 PM	#2
nwkatie Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 2	I've suffered from depression most of my life and I just turned 48. I understand completely what you are feeling - of course, anyone with depression does. Remember that there are major events happening in your life - even if they are happy ones. It causes a lot of stress. Why don't you want to go back on anti-depressants? Do you have bad side effects or do you just feel that you have failed if you do? My sister taught me something because I am so hard on myself. If I wouldn't say it to my daughter, then it is NOT okay to say to myself. Try to take it moment by moment and don't think of everything all at once. That overwhelms me to the point that I do nothing. You still have a great life, just be kind to yourself.