This doesnt make any sense to me?!?!! but its ruining my life. and idk what to do ;(

kittykitty123 · November 14th, 2011, 10:12 AM

i suffer from panic disorder. i have many panic attacks all the time about different things, normal everyday stuff. like work, relationships, etc.

but there is another thing that has caused me panic attacks since i was about ten years old and im 20 now. and i wish i could stop it or at least understand it but i cant. and it causes me intense fear but doesnt make sense.

now before i go any further, i want to say that this is extremely hard for me to open up and share this. the only reason is because im doing it so i can get help. so if you are someone who will be critical or make fun, please leave now before going any further.

what causes the panic attacks is the thought of me screaming. for no reason. i feel like im going to without my control and i fight off the urge but i cant stop sometimes. and the thought goes through my head to do it, even though its something that scares me so much. i guess its the fear of losing control of myself. actually doing it DOES NOT help. it makes me go into an even more intense panic attack.
its almost an ocd thing. i know thinking about it and tempting myself causes me such fear and anxiety and panic, yet somehow i continue to do it. i cant stop making myself think that way.

sometimes i rationalize with myself. "just do it one time, just quietly, etc."

i know this doesnt make sense. it doesnt make sense to me either. all i know is that im tired of it and i want to make it stop.

any advice or kind words would be appreciated. just thinking about this makes me want to cry. even if you dont know what to tell me, please say a prayer for me. i want to get better.

directionsplans · December 8th, 2011, 02:20 AM

Hi. I have also been dealing with panic attacks for a bit now and it has now gotten to the point that I am only finishing one of my college classes at the end of the semester. I feel like I am losing control of myself at times and I too am having a hard time and I just want it all to stop. I want to feel like I'm in control of my life again.

I don't think I have any sort of huge revelation or super helpful information to share with you, but i thought it might help to know you're not alone. The best concrete advice I could possibly give you is try to surround yourself with people that care about you and while they may not understand they too want you to feel better.

Finding a therapist that works with you might also be good, but that is easier said than done... I went through about 8 of them until I found one that really is helping me, and even he isn't perfect because he too is human.

BeautifulLo · January 27th, 2013, 03:22 AM

Have you had the time to read any of the articles in this website to help understand your symptoms and how to manage them? Id be interested in knowing what you find that is helpful.

November 14th, 2011, 10:12 AM	#1
kittykitty123 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Colorado Posts: 4	This doesnt make any sense to me?!?!! but its ruining my life. and idk what to do ;( i suffer from panic disorder. i have many panic attacks all the time about different things, normal everyday stuff. like work, relationships, etc. but there is another thing that has caused me panic attacks since i was about ten years old and im 20 now. and i wish i could stop it or at least understand it but i cant. and it causes me intense fear but doesnt make sense. now before i go any further, i want to say that this is extremely hard for me to open up and share this. the only reason is because im doing it so i can get help. so if you are someone who will be critical or make fun, please leave now before going any further. what causes the panic attacks is the thought of me screaming. for no reason. i feel like im going to without my control and i fight off the urge but i cant stop sometimes. and the thought goes through my head to do it, even though its something that scares me so much. i guess its the fear of losing control of myself. actually doing it DOES NOT help. it makes me go into an even more intense panic attack. its almost an ocd thing. i know thinking about it and tempting myself causes me such fear and anxiety and panic, yet somehow i continue to do it. i cant stop making myself think that way. sometimes i rationalize with myself. "just do it one time, just quietly, etc." i know this doesnt make sense. it doesnt make sense to me either. all i know is that im tired of it and i want to make it stop. any advice or kind words would be appreciated. just thinking about this makes me want to cry. even if you dont know what to tell me, please say a prayer for me. i want to get better.

January 27th, 2013, 03:22 AM	#3
BeautifulLo Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: USA Posts: 0	This doesnt make any sense to me but its ruining my life and idk what to do Have you had the time to read any of the articles in this website to help understand your symptoms and how to manage them? Id be interested in knowing what you find that is helpful.

December 8th, 2011, 02:20 AM	#2
directionsplans Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 1	Hi. I have also been dealing with panic attacks for a bit now and it has now gotten to the point that I am only finishing one of my college classes at the end of the semester. I feel like I am losing control of myself at times and I too am having a hard time and I just want it all to stop. I want to feel like I'm in control of my life again. I don't think I have any sort of huge revelation or super helpful information to share with you, but i thought it might help to know you're not alone. The best concrete advice I could possibly give you is try to surround yourself with people that care about you and while they may not understand they too want you to feel better. Finding a therapist that works with you might also be good, but that is easier said than done... I went through about 8 of them until I found one that really is helping me, and even he isn't perfect because he too is human.