Multiple grief –when will it get better?

[songline76]

So I found this site (along with a couple others) through the book “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye.” I personally know it will take time to get all of what I’ve gone through in the last year and half, but it’s hard to sift which emotions are coming from where…I’m putting this out to the universe, and whatever I get back, I will be grateful for. Thanks for reading in advance.

2010 was one of the craziest years of my life. Any major life change one can go through, I went through. I moved in with my fiancé at the end of April (first time I’ve lived with a romantic partner), two weeks later my Dad died unexpectedly from a heart attack at 61 (no will and family issues galore), and then two weeks later I lost my job due to corporate buyout. We got married as planned in a private ceremony in August, and then had a reception in September. I got a new job in November. I did see a therapist at that time until my health insurance from my old job ran out. That was 2010.

For 2011, I felt this year I was starting to get better (with the help of another counselor under my husband’s insurance), but I still had issues with the anger of it all. We’ve also had 4 weddings this year to go to, and frankly I HATE weddings now. My Dad died so close to our wedding, I couldn’t have the “happy day” that every bride normally has because I missed him so much. While I’m still glad we did that day (and my Dad would have been pissed if we had changed it), and the power of that day stays with me, it took everything I had to NOT cry. He was cremated in the suit that was supposed to be for our wedding as I found out later, and that image still burns in my mind to this day.

As I also was making good headway through my losses and gains from 2012 until we came home this summer to find our house was robbed and ransacked. They took what they could pawn, including my engagement ring. All of the pain of the last year smacked me over the head like a 2x4 and on some levels I’ve become worse. I no longer feel safe in my home to feel or grieve everything I’ve gone through. I had to get out of there, and I’m now on a self-directed retreat away from everything, trying to pick up the pieces from everything I’ve gone through in the last year and a half.

While this retreat has been good to me to release all of the pain and anger from the last year and half, I wonder about how I will be back in the real world. I know this all doesn’t go away. To those of you who have “been through” multiple grief moments in your life, how did you get through it? How long did the intense, “emotional ambushes” stay with you (AKA something triggers you out of the blue and you breakdown)? I realize everyone is different, but any outside perspective is appreciated.

Thanks again for being there-I appreciate it.

[Loomy]

Hi
When someone getting free from several grief and sorrow,so everyone feel better,once me committed in a great problems and at least 10 years passed away then i became relaxed that is my better era in which me survive.

[Mox00023]

Originally Posted by Loomy

Hi
When someone getting free from several grief and sorrow,so everyone feel better,once me committed in a great problems and at least 10 years passed away then i became relaxed that is my better era in which me survive.

I can understand how much of a pain it could have been to you to get wed right next to your dad’s funeral. Anyway, past is past. It is time to move on and be happy.