I'm having dreams again...

[PBS]

It's been more than 9 years since I first went to counseling/therapy for my abuse as a child.

I have been ok about it, dealt with it, put it in it's place...etc. I saw a T for a few months a while back for depression, but have since stopped that too....

now...the past few weeks, I am having dreams about my abuser (stepfather). When the dreams started, I was young again, and they were more memories than dreams. Today, I dreamed that it was now... i was how old i am now, maybe even a few years older...and Bruce was in my dream, which hasn't happened before either.

I am struggling with today's dream. It really affected me - even more than I tried to let on. It's an overwhelming sadness, fear, panic, helplessness that I can't seem to shake.

WHY am I dreaming about this again? Have I had any triggers? not that I can figure out. Nothing has changed over the past few months... things have been going well. I am getting closer with bruce and his son, and my kids are too. My abuser lives in another state 2000 miles away.... I just don't get it.

And, I can't explain it to Bruce in a way he can understand, and he is worried..and I understand that..and I feel bad for making him worry.

I don't know what to do>

[teri1222]

((((((((((((((((((((pbs))))))))))))))))))))))

[EmoKitty666]

I've had trouble with something similar. I'll be fine for a while and suddenly it'll come back. I've had similar dreams to that...mostly the memories but a few like the others. My therapist says it's PTSD and not all that uncommon for an unconscious trigger to cause the dreams. So it could've been something you wouldn't think would be a trigger but to your unconscious mind it was. After all, dreams are your unconscious mind's work, so it would make since for it to not even affect you until your asleep

[April]

The worst thing about dreams is the lack of control in them. Maybe it's worry or fear that's haunting you. Is this the first time you've been so close to someone?
Send Bruce a link to this post, it's pretty understandable. Just be brave and talk to him about it. If you're close, he can help you fight it, he just needs to know what he's fighting.

[sandyberger]

I too have recently started dreaming again. It has been 30 plus yrs since my abuse ended. I find myself dreaming nightly now. I wake up & can't go back to sleep. My husband knows what happened to me to some extent & has been very supportive.. I know what triggered my dreams, the question is how do I stop??? I was abused by my grandfather until I turned 16, not exactly sure when it started. But it continued until he passed away.. I am new to all of this discussion stuff, just looking for some answers.. Thanks

[kraftykid]

OK, just what is going on??? I am also having dreams about my ex-husband, and I really should call them nightmares. My therapist says we have delt with our abuse at the conscious level, but not the subconscious level. I would like to know who is holding on to those memories and let them go.

[DeeDee4021]

I to understand what it is like to have these nightmares. I'm only 19 and I've already been through hell and back and then back down to hell. As a child I had dreams that the boogy man coming out the closet was the men who had raped me as a little little girl. But as I grew older I gained some courage enough to face my nightmares and say "Stop now and leave me alone." My friends wonder why scary movies don't scare me, if only they knew my past. Why would Freddie scare me when I've already seen the face of the devil himself? Dreams come and go and sometimes you can stop them, my biggest protectors (besides my teddy bear) are my bible next to my bed and my dream catcher. All of these help alot. Maybe they will help you PBS.

[PBS]

(((((((((((((((((((( everyone ))))))))))))))))))))))))

thank you all for your support. It's been quite a while since I posted here, and I want ya'll to know I'm alive and kicking and my dreams did NOT get the best of me.

However, I did realize that one of the triggers was mentioned above. it WAS the first time I had ever been so close to anyone in such a TRUE way. and, I believe that was my trigger.

I do still have dreams from time to time, but I have found journaling them enables me to figure out what trigger is out there, and allows me to address whatever it may be in a non-threatening way.

Ya'll ROCK!!1

[Angel-Sue]

Have you 'let this go' by way of truly forgiving your abuser? I believe we need to forgive, NOT for THEIR benifit, but for ours....it lets us off the hook. It allows us to move on. And as you say, maybe there is a reason this came back, seeing someone who looks like him, a movie, hearing something that just brings it back to light for you.
You need control over your mind, to be able to speak words of peace and control...maybe like.."Thoughts, go away, I will NOT allow you to take possession of my mind and destroy me. This happened a long time ago, it was NOT my fault and I give myself permission to let it go - I forgive myself for what happened, and I forgive the person who did this to me. It is OVER and finished. I am a good person, God loves me and will help me to remove all the anxiety and pain from clogging my mind."
Maybe saying these things over and over, positive thoughts....may help? I hope so, and I wish you luck!
Much love!
Angel-Sue

[MiusMarta]

biggest hugs EVER Im so sorry to hear that your family is having to deal with all of that. Your mom has obviously been a rock for your aunt and all who know her. I will keep you all in my pocket.