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Old July 26th, 2008, 04:36 PM   #1
Magdalena
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Unhappy How am I supposed to get through this without them?

Um, i just found out someone i loved very much who has been there for me as a best friend when i was in a very horrible place in my life died. I don't know how to react. I think I'm in shock. I just feel... broken; If that makes sense? He was such a good person and he was way too young to die and he didnt deserve to go the way he did. And i just don't know what to do. He is the person who I would normally turn to in a situation like this and he's gone and I realise I will NEVER get to see him again, and that kills me. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Please someone tell me how i should cope. I feel like my belief in god is being contradicted by what happened and that hurts me almost as much.
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Old July 27th, 2008, 01:09 AM   #2
forevergrowing
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Hi, I have lost people close to me as well. And I also felt like I was angry at God, and how could he do this to everyone? I don't think there is one certain way to cope with a loved one's death...I think it is different with everyone. TALK ABOUT IT, thats the most important I think. You can't let it eat you up alone. Use everyone around you for support. I still miss her, she died in May...and I just try to cherish the good times we had together and hope that someday I see her again. It makes me feel more comfortable to think that maybe she is still around me. I have a water bamboo plant that I have dedicated to her and it is thriving. It's a hard thing to deal with but I really think it's just whatever works for you...I try to just talk about it, remember times I had with her, pray to her, and still love her.
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Old July 27th, 2008, 05:22 AM   #3
Magdalena
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thanks, I am actually doing much better today and don't feel as hopeless. I will try to talk about this with friends and family. But I know this will be hard.
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Old July 28th, 2008, 07:36 PM   #4
crazymomma
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Magdalena, we all have had loss that is hard. If you can't find someone to talk to come here and vent. The boards are wonderful for that. There is always and ear to lend and
hugs to help make you feel better! So, hugs and prayers to you.
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Old September 25th, 2008, 12:00 PM   #5
maustin
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My life has been so lonely and terrible, especially since last November (a trauma occured on the 22nd). My friends are "sick" of hearing me complain, my family isn't any help, and I have so much pain and sadness. I can't take care of myself financially- I have bill collectors calling me almost every hour. I was going to a counselor, but I can no longer afford it. I'm unable to sleep, eat, I feel close to getting in trouble at work for my appearance and my obvious lack of interest. I feel completely alone- I've lost my longtime boyfriend and best friend because of this and am facing an unwanted pregnancy. I don't have any clue where to go from here, and honestly, the only thing that appeals to me is the idea of walking out in the woods, lying down, and never getting up.
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Old December 3rd, 2008, 03:55 PM   #6
MHR
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I understand your pain. I have been in a very similar situation for a very long time. I cant say I have the answers you need, but I can offer the advice that has kept me going for as long as I have.
My great grandfather was the best man on earth to me. He took care of me while he was alive and taught me more about life than anyone else ever has or ever will. He told me when I was very young "If you let the pressure of the world bring you down, it means you didn't have enough determination. Use the pain and turn it into anger, turn the anger into drive. Use your drive to better yourself. The more anger you have, the more it should drive you to fix things in your life. You are better than the problems you have, always remember that. You can overcome. You can rise above it all."
He lived until he was 96 years old and led a regret free life. I've lived by these words. I have pushed on no matter what the problem because I do know I'm better than this. The tougher the times, the more the pain comes, the more I push on. Never let things dwell in your mind and just say "I cant do anything about it." You can always do something. Reaching out is something. Posting here is something. You can overcome. You can rise above. You will hear a lot of people tell you to put faith in God. This is a good start, if religion is your cup of tea. The most important place you can put some of your faith is in yourself. You would be surprised how far that can take you.
Again, I don't claim to hold the magic answers to any problems, Lord knows I have a load of them myself. I just think you sound a lot like the way I was a while back. Things pass. Trouble fades. Nothing is etched in stone. With help, determination, and time things will change.
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Old December 8th, 2008, 12:38 AM   #7
terry357
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We only Relate,no One can walk in the individuel Shues but themselves.
Oh yes We Miss them and Death Aniversary itself,my brother in 93 Dec.19.

Terry357
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Everyday is a New Day!
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Old December 8th, 2008, 08:17 PM   #8
heyjude
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maustin View Post
I don't have any clue where to go from here, and honestly, the only thing that appeals to me is the idea of walking out in the woods, lying down, and never getting up.
I understand how you feel. I never heard anyone else say what I have thought in my head, "I just want to lay down somewhere, and not have to get up again." or "I just want to start walking and keep walking until I can't walk anymore." What will I do then? "Lie down..."
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Old December 13th, 2008, 08:53 PM   #9
IRISH_EYES_99
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The holidays are such a tragic time to lose loved ones. Any day is really. It's just the holidays seem to make it sting that much more.

Grieving is a natural process. It's helps take the pain. So talk, write, put your feelings down on paper, say them out loud. Then try to think of a time with that loved one that made you laugh or smile. Something you did together. Remember that loved one is no longer in pain.
Would they want you to hold the grief and be sad, or find a way to let it go. Remember the happy times.

My wish for each of you is to find some inner peace. Bless each of you.
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[COLOR=teal]May your blessings out number the shamrocks that grow... May trouble avoid you whereever you go...... An Irish Blessing[/COLOR]
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Old December 18th, 2008, 11:07 AM   #10
SlowRoxy1988
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you had no control over what happened to your friend,dear so dont hold any guilt dear,the God I know will get you though what ever comes your way,just seek his confort. my best friend whom past away died in my home I found him blue march28th 2006-he had just moved in to my home 4 days earlyer but from a nursing home.as he wasnt aloud to stay at home no more.what i know is i did the right thing I let him die in a place he felt safesthe was 70 yrs old.and although I paniced at first God aloud me to see that it must of been an afaul pretty angel that came to get him, because of the way his hand was laying and the smile on his face.6 months later I lost anoth very good friend he died of a massive heartattack in his home he was 80 yrs old.then before the yr was full cycle I lost 1 more person from my 12 step program,we all live and we all die in time. i just hope your friend knew the lord.and he was reborn . if not pray for his soul.for safe passage to heven. its my way i beleave so sorry if i push that on you e mail me if you like .ps ive lost a lot of people nin my time frame. as ever SlowRoxy1988. Roxanne merry christmas dear 1
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