Awake

Howard · November 2nd, 2011, 09:01 AM

It's almost 6 am. I have been up since three.
I owe just over $70,000 in hospital bills. For them saving me. After I swallowed a lot of lorazapan and baclaphin. I almost shot myself too. But me wife took the gun way. Then called the cops.
I now live in my van. Too old and fat to get a job. That' what I'v been told. No income, no wife, no health insurance, no help from the state becaues I am ,"white, male, and buget cutbacks". That's a quote from the lady at the mental health clinic. That I was in after the hospital kicked me out. Even though I could hardly walk.
Am I depressed.......I believe so.
And now it's the holidays!
This is who I am.
Howard

JamieKidwell · November 3rd, 2011, 05:23 PM

I'm new here myself, just registered today. Your story sounds very depressing, but interesting too. Now I'm not talking religion, but I hope you find something or someone to give you some hope with your situation. I've got to say my life is compelety different from yours but depression I'm very famlier with. So maybe we can share some more about that

. Talking to others does help. Whining helps too, but utimaltly being in this frame of mind doesn't help any of us!

If you have a pen and paper, write down all the people, places, things no matter how big or small they are, and write about how Gratefull you are for them. The way this works the best is being Gratefull for the people and places and things that have brought you down the most, if you can find away to turn it in to something great your emotions will change. NO, its not a miracle, but believe me, you will feel better when your done, and when your in a Gratefull frame of mine, you allow yourself to be open to new and better situations. I promise if you do this eveyday things will improve, there's no way a gratefull frame of mind wouldn't open yourself up to more wonderful things to come into your life!

November 2nd, 2011, 09:01 AM	#1
Howard Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 1	Awake It's almost 6 am. I have been up since three. I owe just over $70,000 in hospital bills. For them saving me. After I swallowed a lot of lorazapan and baclaphin. I almost shot myself too. But me wife took the gun way. Then called the cops. I now live in my van. Too old and fat to get a job. That' what I'v been told. No income, no wife, no health insurance, no help from the state becaues I am ,"white, male, and buget cutbacks". That's a quote from the lady at the mental health clinic. That I was in after the hospital kicked me out. Even though I could hardly walk. Am I depressed.......I believe so. And now it's the holidays! This is who I am. Howard

November 3rd, 2011, 05:23 PM	#2
JamieKidwell Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 1	I'm new here myself, just registered today. Your story sounds very depressing, but interesting too. Now I'm not talking religion, but I hope you find something or someone to give you some hope with your situation. I've got to say my life is compelety different from yours but depression I'm very famlier with. So maybe we can share some more about that . Talking to others does help. Whining helps too, but utimaltly being in this frame of mind doesn't help any of us! If you have a pen and paper, write down all the people, places, things no matter how big or small they are, and write about how Gratefull you are for them. The way this works the best is being Gratefull for the people and places and things that have brought you down the most, if you can find away to turn it in to something great your emotions will change. NO, its not a miracle, but believe me, you will feel better when your done, and when your in a Gratefull frame of mine, you allow yourself to be open to new and better situations. I promise if you do this eveyday things will improve, there's no way a gratefull frame of mind wouldn't open yourself up to more wonderful things to come into your life!