Finding it harder and harder to cope w/ life...

GeminiSoldier · May 15th, 2011, 06:34 PM

These past 2 years have been some of the worst years of my life.

Why? Well first of all- I didn't use to have to deal with all of this pain. I lived a good life. People liked me. My friends at least liked me, along with the teachers which were very kind. Sure I got bullied by people here and there at school but I was ok. My sister also had ADHD and was really annoying. The thing is, back THEN I thought my life was hard. Well it jumped to a whole new level.

I am now scared to go to school.
The teachers are horrible. They're lifeless, if anything very unfair. I don't like judging adults but I can't handle it.
My friends are even worse. They torture me, physically and emotionally. They smack me around, treat me like a toy...call me gay/lesbian, stupid, mean, a horrible person, a "depressed freak"...I have to force myself to smile so they won't call me the last name...because that's the most painful one.

My sister's ADHD has jumped. Just a month ago she kicked my other sister in the face onto her bed and started punching her. She is 11, my other sister 8...
She makes me cry every day. She tells me to shutup, swears...and she does it to my parents too. They give her no discipline, they never have given her enough of it...and she's only getting worse.

I have no one to vent on. My parents know I'm depressed and have offered someone to help me, but the last person I went to told me I was a horrible person, and I should be ashamed of myself for the few things I've done wrong...

I use to have 7 friends, now I have 1. And she will be moving away in less than 3 months.

I don't know what to do. I can't leave my group of "Friends" because no one else in my school likes me. I have to hide from my sister at home, and the only relaxation I have now is the computer and my video games. I'm crying every day, and my grades have dropped. Please, can I get some advice? Anything? Someone to talk to? ...

Meili · June 28th, 2011, 02:27 PM

You didn't expand on the reason you've been alienated from your friends, but there is nothing that will cause more distress than rejection and loss... sounds like you're experiencing both. I was a lonely girl once, too. I didn't understand why I didn't have close friendships, thought everyone else was out having a good time while I sat home babysitting my little sister. I understand the anguish of feeling like you don't fit in anywhere. You sound very young, as I was when I was feeling like you are. It will pass, you have to hold on through this time. You have many good years ahead of you. Talk to your parents about seeing a different counselor who might be a better fit. Find a counselor at school, seek out a pastor at a local church. Be proactive. The "friends" you describe don't sound like friends at all. No one deserves to be treated the way they treat you. It would be better for you to focus your energy on seeking out other friends. Look for someone who seems to need a friend, too. Look for that person sitting alone at lunch. I know it will be scary, even terrifying, because you've already faced so much rejection and you don't want to put yourself out there to be hurt again. Something that helped me was to get involved with volunteering. It helped me get out of my own head, and meet others who had higher standards of behaviour. Seek out people who build you up, not tear you down. Be good to yourself. Try to hold off sharing your depression with friends until you find one who really accepts you and that you've known for awhile. Sharing too much too soon can scare people away. It can alienate your peers to have someone around who is always complaining and "taking". Try to be on the giving end. Offer to listen to others' problems. Focus on being supportive to others rather than just seeking support for yourself. Remember, the best way to make good friends is to be one! Remember that you have infinite worth. I care about you even without knowing you. I'm sure you have wonderful qualities you can use to bless others. Someone out there needs you, and what you have endured so far has strengthened and uniquely equipped you to be an encouragement to others who may be facing similar struggles. Don't seclude yourself and your gifts away behind a computer.

Nightly escape · September 25th, 2012, 05:26 PM

i feel like im almost in the same position except i dont have to deal with the bullying because im homeschooled but nonetheless i would not consider those people to be your friends.and your parents you dont have to tell them anything but it generally helps if they know a little about what you think.if you could i think it would be best if you got homeschooled because there you could meet people as unique as you are i have met many people at my school like me with similar problems and together we make eachother better.so try and get to know people who different from the rest of your class.

May 15th, 2011, 06:34 PM	#1
GeminiSoldier Lonely New Girl Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3	Finding it harder and harder to cope w/ life... These past 2 years have been some of the worst years of my life. Why? Well first of all- I didn't use to have to deal with all of this pain. I lived a good life. People liked me. My friends at least liked me, along with the teachers which were very kind. Sure I got bullied by people here and there at school but I was ok. My sister also had ADHD and was really annoying. The thing is, back THEN I thought my life was hard. Well it jumped to a whole new level. I am now scared to go to school. The teachers are horrible. They're lifeless, if anything very unfair. I don't like judging adults but I can't handle it. My friends are even worse. They torture me, physically and emotionally. They smack me around, treat me like a toy...call me gay/lesbian, stupid, mean, a horrible person, a "depressed freak"...I have to force myself to smile so they won't call me the last name...because that's the most painful one. My sister's ADHD has jumped. Just a month ago she kicked my other sister in the face onto her bed and started punching her. She is 11, my other sister 8... She makes me cry every day. She tells me to shutup, swears...and she does it to my parents too. They give her no discipline, they never have given her enough of it...and she's only getting worse. I have no one to vent on. My parents know I'm depressed and have offered someone to help me, but the last person I went to told me I was a horrible person, and I should be ashamed of myself for the few things I've done wrong... I use to have 7 friends, now I have 1. And she will be moving away in less than 3 months. I don't know what to do. I can't leave my group of "Friends" because no one else in my school likes me. I have to hide from my sister at home, and the only relaxation I have now is the computer and my video games. I'm crying every day, and my grades have dropped. Please, can I get some advice? Anything? Someone to talk to? ...

June 28th, 2011, 02:27 PM	#2
Meili Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 2	You didn't expand on the reason you've been alienated from your friends, but there is nothing that will cause more distress than rejection and loss... sounds like you're experiencing both. I was a lonely girl once, too. I didn't understand why I didn't have close friendships, thought everyone else was out having a good time while I sat home babysitting my little sister. I understand the anguish of feeling like you don't fit in anywhere. You sound very young, as I was when I was feeling like you are. It will pass, you have to hold on through this time. You have many good years ahead of you. Talk to your parents about seeing a different counselor who might be a better fit. Find a counselor at school, seek out a pastor at a local church. Be proactive. The "friends" you describe don't sound like friends at all. No one deserves to be treated the way they treat you. It would be better for you to focus your energy on seeking out other friends. Look for someone who seems to need a friend, too. Look for that person sitting alone at lunch. I know it will be scary, even terrifying, because you've already faced so much rejection and you don't want to put yourself out there to be hurt again. Something that helped me was to get involved with volunteering. It helped me get out of my own head, and meet others who had higher standards of behaviour. Seek out people who build you up, not tear you down. Be good to yourself. Try to hold off sharing your depression with friends until you find one who really accepts you and that you've known for awhile. Sharing too much too soon can scare people away. It can alienate your peers to have someone around who is always complaining and "taking". Try to be on the giving end. Offer to listen to others' problems. Focus on being supportive to others rather than just seeking support for yourself. Remember, the best way to make good friends is to be one! Remember that you have infinite worth. I care about you even without knowing you. I'm sure you have wonderful qualities you can use to bless others. Someone out there needs you, and what you have endured so far has strengthened and uniquely equipped you to be an encouragement to others who may be facing similar struggles. Don't seclude yourself and your gifts away behind a computer.

September 25th, 2012, 05:26 PM	#3
Nightly escape Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 2	i feel like im almost in the same position except i dont have to deal with the bullying because im homeschooled but nonetheless i would not consider those people to be your friends.and your parents you dont have to tell them anything but it generally helps if they know a little about what you think.if you could i think it would be best if you got homeschooled because there you could meet people as unique as you are i have met many people at my school like me with similar problems and together we make eachother better.so try and get to know people who different from the rest of your class.