i need someone to talk to :\

kathrynhannahtm · April 5th, 2011, 08:08 PM

i've been struggling with depression for about 4 years. i haven't self injured in a year and 10 months (soo proud of myself!!)...but i feel myself spiraling downward. and i'm kind of terrified... ):

jae-jaed · April 19th, 2011, 10:34 AM

According to people around me, over the couple of years they think that I have changed dramatically but I just discarded everything that they told me and became angrier. I wanted to be alone, and I felt it was a chore to socialize with people and I would get so irritated and angry at the slightest things; always over analyzing, always thinking that they are against me. :(

Everyday I felt that I had to "Be happy" in front of people... but in reality I was struggling. I would have trouble sleeping because all those thoughts became so loud in my head... practically screaming negative thoughts constantly inside me and due to that I find myself crying alone in my room, if not pacing back and forth constantly. The thoughts and voices in my head became so painful that i found that the only way to take them away (even for a short time period) was to hurt myself.

I even have thoughts of myself picking up a knife and cutting myself severely. I even have dreams of my death and wishing that I had a terminal illness. This aspect of me really scares me but i still refuse to admit that i have depression.

People around me and doctor insisted I see psychologist and take anti-depressants, which I am currently doing. However, I don't feel much change... and I'm scared and confused of what will happen to me. I seriously don't know what to do anymore...

jae-jaed · April 19th, 2011, 10:46 AM

According to people around me, over the couple of years they think that I have changed dramatically but I just discarded everything that they told me and became angrier. I wanted to be alone, and I felt it was a chore to socialize with people and I would get so irritated and angry at the slightest things; always over analyzing, always thinking that they are against me. :(

Everyday I felt that I had to "Be happy" in front of people... but in reality I was struggling. I would have trouble sleeping because all those thoughts became so loud in my head... practically screaming negative thoughts constantly inside me and due to that I find myself crying alone in my room, if not pacing back and forth constantly. The thoughts and voices in my head became so painful that i found that the only way to take them away (even for a short time period) was to hurt myself.

I even have thoughts of myself picking up a knife and cutting myself severely. I even have dreams of my death and wishing that I had a terminal illness. This aspect of me really scares me but i still refuse to admit that i have depression.

People around me and doctor insisted I see psychologist and take anti-depressants, which I am currently doing. However, I don't feel much change... and I'm scared and confused of what will happen to me. I seriously don't know what to do anymore...

never.say.never · May 3rd, 2011, 03:32 AM

you have all been through alot, i know exactly how you guys are feeling

i used to cut myself to the point were puss would come, i couldnt go to school and would stay up all night criticizing myself and complaining how much my life sucks.
do your friends know about what your going through???

my suggestion is to tell your closest friend that you trust so you always have someon there that understands and will be patient
thats what i did, but these days kids are so immature i wouldnt tell a lot of people cause they might no handle it the same way!
also what anti depressants are you on???

stay strong and you can fight it! i promise, we all understand you on this website feel free to talk to me when ever, im always here and im really understanding. just dont give up and keep fighting , it will get better! <3

April 5th, 2011, 08:08 PM	#1
kathrynhannahtm Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2	i need someone to talk to :\ i've been struggling with depression for about 4 years. i haven't self injured in a year and 10 months (soo proud of myself!!)...but i feel myself spiraling downward. and i'm kind of terrified... ):

April 19th, 2011, 10:34 AM	#2
jae-jaed Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2	I also feel like I need someone to talk to :( According to people around me, over the couple of years they think that I have changed dramatically but I just discarded everything that they told me and became angrier. I wanted to be alone, and I felt it was a chore to socialize with people and I would get so irritated and angry at the slightest things; always over analyzing, always thinking that they are against me. :( Everyday I felt that I had to "Be happy" in front of people... but in reality I was struggling. I would have trouble sleeping because all those thoughts became so loud in my head... practically screaming negative thoughts constantly inside me and due to that I find myself crying alone in my room, if not pacing back and forth constantly. The thoughts and voices in my head became so painful that i found that the only way to take them away (even for a short time period) was to hurt myself. I even have thoughts of myself picking up a knife and cutting myself severely. I even have dreams of my death and wishing that I had a terminal illness. This aspect of me really scares me but i still refuse to admit that i have depression. People around me and doctor insisted I see psychologist and take anti-depressants, which I am currently doing. However, I don't feel much change... and I'm scared and confused of what will happen to me. I seriously don't know what to do anymore...

April 19th, 2011, 10:46 AM	#3
jae-jaed Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2	I also feel like I need someone to talk to :( According to people around me, over the couple of years they think that I have changed dramatically but I just discarded everything that they told me and became angrier. I wanted to be alone, and I felt it was a chore to socialize with people and I would get so irritated and angry at the slightest things; always over analyzing, always thinking that they are against me. :( Everyday I felt that I had to "Be happy" in front of people... but in reality I was struggling. I would have trouble sleeping because all those thoughts became so loud in my head... practically screaming negative thoughts constantly inside me and due to that I find myself crying alone in my room, if not pacing back and forth constantly. The thoughts and voices in my head became so painful that i found that the only way to take them away (even for a short time period) was to hurt myself. I even have thoughts of myself picking up a knife and cutting myself severely. I even have dreams of my death and wishing that I had a terminal illness. This aspect of me really scares me but i still refuse to admit that i have depression. People around me and doctor insisted I see psychologist and take anti-depressants, which I am currently doing. However, I don't feel much change... and I'm scared and confused of what will happen to me. I seriously don't know what to do anymore...

May 3rd, 2011, 03:32 AM	#4
never.say.never Jacqueline Join Date: May 2011 Location: Canda Posts: 3	you have all been through alot, i know exactly how you guys are feeling i used to cut myself to the point were puss would come, i couldnt go to school and would stay up all night criticizing myself and complaining how much my life sucks. do your friends know about what your going through??? my suggestion is to tell your closest friend that you trust so you always have someon there that understands and will be patient thats what i did, but these days kids are so immature i wouldnt tell a lot of people cause they might no handle it the same way! also what anti depressants are you on??? stay strong and you can fight it! i promise, we all understand you on this website feel free to talk to me when ever, im always here and im really understanding. just dont give up and keep fighting , it will get better! <3