How Can I Win?

Susanne1978 · November 23rd, 2009, 02:00 AM

I feel like the past 20(ish) years of my life has been me running away from this dark thing that chases me. There are up's and down's but it's always there lingering in the back of my mind. I have been on anti-depressants for the past 8 years straight, and before that it was more of an on again off again thing. I've talked to a therapist on more than one occasion, but I find myself not being honest with them. They ask how I am, I say fine... I feel like if I say I'm not okay, they'll ask why and that's a question I've never been able to answer. It's almost like I feel guilty that I have depression and no "reason" for it.
I know it's a chemical thing, but how can a therapist or psychologist help with the chemicals? They've perscribed the drugs, which I must admit have kept me more level than ever before, but why go to talk to someone when I don't have anything to say.
Has anyone else dealt with this?

candydrops23 · December 12th, 2009, 09:14 PM

I. Feel the same way most of the times. I totally understand the docs the meds! I promise you I go through hell everyday of my life! I'm about to give everything up!

Survivor · December 29th, 2009, 04:37 PM

yes....i have and i am dealing with it right now. i am new to the forums because i am currently going through a bad spell and need more support. i have had massive depressive episodes come out of nowhere or from a small event that turns my mood into a multi-month long problem. i have been taking antidepressants for about 8 years too. same one. i am considering going back to a psychiatrist to see if there are better meds out there for me but money is always an issue. a therapist could help you think about how to cope with the depression on a day-to-day basis regardless of medication. they are just another avenue for support but not everyone benefits from or enjoys the concept of therapy. the question of how you an win is something i think about every day. i know i can't win by giving up, but it's exhausting to keep trying.

jnpsmommy · January 14th, 2010, 12:12 AM

I'm just so tired...... I dont feel like doing anything... I just want to sit and stare into space my heart is breaking and i feel like a weight is crushing down on me. I cant even rel;ate to my kids and i use this stupid ***** computer as an escape, to avoid interacting with everyone
Its just not fair, i HATE feeling like this I feel like crap! *crying*

November 23rd, 2009, 02:00 AM	#1
Susanne1978 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 2	How Can I Win? I feel like the past 20(ish) years of my life has been me running away from this dark thing that chases me. There are up's and down's but it's always there lingering in the back of my mind. I have been on anti-depressants for the past 8 years straight, and before that it was more of an on again off again thing. I've talked to a therapist on more than one occasion, but I find myself not being honest with them. They ask how I am, I say fine... I feel like if I say I'm not okay, they'll ask why and that's a question I've never been able to answer. It's almost like I feel guilty that I have depression and no "reason" for it. I know it's a chemical thing, but how can a therapist or psychologist help with the chemicals? They've perscribed the drugs, which I must admit have kept me more level than ever before, but why go to talk to someone when I don't have anything to say. Has anyone else dealt with this?

January 14th, 2010, 12:12 AM	#4
jnpsmommy Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1	I'm just so tired...... I dont feel like doing anything... I just want to sit and stare into space my heart is breaking and i feel like a weight is crushing down on me. I cant even rel;ate to my kids and i use this stupid ***** computer as an escape, to avoid interacting with everyone Its just not fair, i HATE feeling like this I feel like crap! crying Last edited by Sysop; January 14th, 2010 at 01:58 AM. Reason: Inappropriate language

December 12th, 2009, 09:14 PM	#2
candydrops23 Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 1	I. Feel the same way most of the times. I totally understand the docs the meds! I promise you I go through hell everyday of my life! I'm about to give everything up!

December 29th, 2009, 04:37 PM	#3
Survivor Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 2	yes....i have and i am dealing with it right now. i am new to the forums because i am currently going through a bad spell and need more support. i have had massive depressive episodes come out of nowhere or from a small event that turns my mood into a multi-month long problem. i have been taking antidepressants for about 8 years too. same one. i am considering going back to a psychiatrist to see if there are better meds out there for me but money is always an issue. a therapist could help you think about how to cope with the depression on a day-to-day basis regardless of medication. they are just another avenue for support but not everyone benefits from or enjoys the concept of therapy. the question of how you an win is something i think about every day. i know i can't win by giving up, but it's exhausting to keep trying.