New Here

[crazymomma]

HI KIm and thanks everyone for the welcome. Sorry It took me a bit to get back here I lost my way but got smart and bookmarked it.LOL I haven't lost my husband but did lose a dad and brother. At times I don't know which was harder.

[kraftykid]

Welcome Kim!!

I have lost all but my immediate family, husband, daughter, grandsons they are my only family now. Some times it makes it very lonely. I also lost my first husband, but that was via a divorce. I can understand your feelings because a divorce is like the death of your family. Who, what, and why went through my mind for years. What could I have done to make it better, am I ok for my daughter, oh but I cried a lot. I never believed people who told me that times make it better, but that is what it takes time and the love and support of your family and friends. Talk to them, be open with your feelings, don't hold it back and think you are strong enough to take care of yourself.

If you have children be sure to share your grief with them. They have to know it is ok to grieve too.

This is a great place to get support, we cannot walk in your shoes but we can, via the internet, hold your hand and lend you an ear.

(((((((((( ))))))))))

[terry357]

Welcome ((((( kim )))))) Sorry to hear on your Loss.

Terry357

[DragonsRain]

kim,

it's so awesome that you found this forum. We had a Grief and Loss chat that I am hoping will be up and running in the somewhat near future, but until then the boards are here for you for support. I lost my father in April of 2006 and it still seems like yesterday somedays. People tell us that "you'll get over it" or "things will get better in time" but the truth is, sometimes it doesn't. We learn to cope with it somehow and it truly is somehow. Alot of times, find a therapist helps, even one through an EAP at work. Maybe through a church or other religious affiliation. Or, if all else fails, just having a kind ear to listen to you helps Please know that we are here to help in any way we can. I hope to see you on the boards again and hope to get a chance to talk to you sometime too!

Take care and hugs from me to you for your loss.

(((((((((((((((((((kim)))))))))))))))))))))

[kraftykid]

Ok Dragon you have stumped me, was is an EAP? You have to remember I am a country bumpkin who hasn't worked for years. Well shoveling horse poop is hard work, but the only compensation is good stuff for your flower beds and garden.

[terry357]

Sorry to hear DragonsRain as we can Relate another thing we can Relate is My Mom died on Father`s Day though We have different Gender in Loss but the Feeling is in "the missing",Every Grief is different/Every person is different.

Terry

((((( DragonsRain )))))) ((((( kim))))))

[IRISH_EYES_99]

(((((((( to all who lost loved ones )))))))),

Kim welcome to a great place. So very sorry for your loss.

I lost my oldest sister a yr ago. My mom back in '88 .. My brother my friend passed away in '74 he was 39. He passed on our 5th wedding anniversary.. It still hurts. In time the hurting gets dulled. Don't know if it ever truely goes away. They will forever be in your heart. ( he had walked me down the isle when we got married ).

You move on in life because time doesn't stand still no matter what we go though. May I wish you each comfort in the love that touched you. In the love that will forever be in your heart.

[dgoodman]

Hi all, I am new and here for 2 reasons.
1. July 24th 2007, my best friend Becky lost her 16 yr old son in a car accident. She came up on the wreck and saw things that mothers should never see. He was brain dead and had to be removed from life support. I was very close to Austin and I am very close to her daughter that made it through the wreck. I am Beckys cushion/support and friend for life. I would do anything for her and vice versa. Although I am listening and seeing the ups and downs I feel like there is more I should or could be doing. . I worry every day. Her insurance does not cover counseling..and she does not have the money to pay for it. I am going to send this link to her because from what I have read I think this would be a great place for her to start. Any tips on helping someone go through this would be so appreciated.
My 2nd reason for being here is a week after Austin died my husbands best friend killed my friend and daily companion (his wife) and then killed himself. It has been a very long year trying to deal with all this. All 3 deaths were a part of all of our lifes. I cannot cry for him but miss her every day as we worked a home business together. I continue to feel if I had gone to her home after our presentation she would still be alive. I continue to think that if he wouldn't have been at our house before killing her, he wouldn't have known where she was. How do you finally forgive yourself? thanks for listening to me. I appear to be a babbleing idiot today but somedays feel that way.

Trust your journey

[DragonsRain]

((((((((((((((((dgoodman)))))))))))))))

I am so glad I got to reply first on this. Most around here know that I lost my first love to suicide in 1996, mom to suicide in 1989 and my father died in 2006. I am in counseling right now for the very thing u are talking about. I know, in my head, that there was nothing I could have done to prevent any of their deaths. But my heart still carries a heavy burden of guilt that "maybe this or that". Carrying this kind of guilt, or really any guilt, for that long of a period of time does destruction to the very core of a person. Now I have found a great therapist or "T" as you will see referred on here many times. I am now just STARTING to "let go" of the guilt of their deaths, as well as past relationships.

The first and most important thing you can do for your friend who lost her son is this. BE THERE FOR HER! Many say, if there is anything i can do, please call me. etc. But u know what? Sometimes we can't bring ourselves to call. We feel like we are putting our problems on others. If it's a suicide thing, there is such a taboo with this that many don't know what to say to a survivor of someone who committed suicide. Stop by unexpectedly and when/if she answers the door, have a small gift basket or a good book and say, "Just wanted to drop this off. If ur busy, I can leave or if you want to visit, I can stay " Even if it's just to hear her cry or give her a good hug or two. That is what you can do for her. Maybe make her a meal, which many do when a loved one of someone passes away. This is my favorite cause no dishes to do hehehe. Seriously though, just be her friend, which you already are

And as far as a blabbering idiot here? We have lots of them, including myself ROFL. I happen to be having a great day so I wanted to come share the "energy" with you all. I am so glad I found your post

One thing to remember with grieving, whether it's of a loved one, a job, a pet, a friendship or anything else. But especially when it involves death. There is NO right or wrong way to grieve. There are I believe 5 steps in grieving and I should know them by heart to post but I don't. We all grieve in different ways. One is anger, another is sadness, IRISH, someone help me out here please? /me blushes with embarrassment.

I hope ur friend finds us and posts to us. We do have a grief and loss chat as I have said previously and I hope to be able to be the host once again for it. And remember, there is a bucket in every thread, thanks to IRISH - I think - suffering from CRS sorry everyone lol. The buckets have an endless supply of hugs and believe me.... it may sound corny to some but when ur in need of one, this is an amazing place to be!!!!!

Hugs from me to you in your losses. Don't forget to take care of YOU!!!

PS... see I told ya I was a blabber too!! ROFL!!

[valentina]

hello everyone, my name is Valentina. I do prefer to use Val for short. I have been through quite a bit in my life as well as making new changes