too many loses

juditha · February 25th, 2009, 10:14 PM

i had a rough year last year. i lost 4 close people in my life. two of them was my grandfather and his brother, which died 2 days apart of each other. back to back furneral, which was devasting. but, i dealt with their lose pretty good, for they lived a long life and didn't have to suffer anymore. plus, i got to say my good-byes.

then, two weeks after their passings, i lost a close friend and three others that i went to school with, in a terrible accident. my friend was only 26, who was going to go back to school to become a priest. i'm still having a hard time dealing with his death. although i saw him laying there in a coffin and went to his furneral, i still can't believe he's gone.

a month after i got married, my father past unsuspectedly. he had a history of heart problems, but seemed healthy. he and my mom got back a week before from their vacation and was at a play the night before with some friends. it was when he was getting ready to go to morining mass that he had a massive heartattack. when i found out i just couldn't believe it, for the day before i was talking to him on the phone and he sounded great. when i call my mom now, i'm always wishing he's going to answer, but he doesn't. i have a hard time looking at my wedding pictures, for that was the last time i saw him alive. i'm just glad he was there to marry me off.

after my grandfather's passing, i was thinking of going to church regulary on sundays. but after the death of my friend and father i can't even sit through one mass without breaking down in tears. for my friend was the organist at the chuch of my hometown and my dad was an usher. so, i have a hard time not seeing my dad or hearing my friend play. just when i'm about to reach out to god again he takes people away from me. i just don't know how i'm going to get through this one. for i don't like to talk to people about my feelings, for i feel like i'm a burden. and i'm afraid to go to a doctor about it, for i know they will try to stick me on meds which i'm against. i try to exercise or to do something, but i just don't have the motivation.

thank you for listening

Muffie · January 19th, 2010, 11:48 PM

You are definitely depressed in my opinion. I am not sure why you are so opposed to medication if you haven't tried anything. If it doesn't work, you don't need to take it, but if it helps you why wouldn't you at least try something. I think people see medication as a weakness, but it is my belief that if something helps, it is a positive. Please reconsider and see a doctor. You have been through a lot and your depression could worsen.

shawn5 · March 15th, 2011, 12:14 AM

Hi guys,..
too much losses are also very harmful for the body,..so lose weight according to your body,....

islandsuze · April 4th, 2011, 09:59 AM

I too have had many loses over a short period of time 1 includes my teenage son. I understand not wanting to take meds because I have seen several people that seem out of their heads due to their meds. I had the philosophy that I have to deal with my problems now or later the meds just post pone the depression. So I understand not wanting to take meds. I personally dont want to take any meds that make me so doped up I dont remember the people I love. Anyhow, not taking anything for my depression has had a impact on my health. Before this I had no medical problems and now my health is in a downward spiral. I dont know what to blame for this except stress/depression. So looking back I guess if I took something-not anything strong-but something it may have helped me live a more productive life.

Graham · July 31st, 2011, 11:53 PM

Well whatever you lose and whatever you gain is the matter of luck and there is no role of your own will and everything is decided as a matter of luck.

Guy · August 12th, 2011, 11:38 PM

Hi juditha,
Sorry about your loss and pray that they will rest in peace.
Wish that in future you will get lots of happiness and love so you will comes out from this state of mind. Do go to church daily and pray for your loved ones who are not among you now.

Mox00023 · December 13th, 2011, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guy

Hi juditha,
Sorry about your loss and pray that they will rest in peace.
Wish that in future you will get lots of happiness and love so you will comes out from this state of mind. Do go to church daily and pray for your loved ones who are not among you now.

I do not think resorting to medication is a safe approach, if not harmful. I would advise you to go to a health club, travel a lot, read a lot of spiritual books to get yourself on track.

Bf1964 · January 25th, 2012, 01:11 PM

Wow honey, you've really had more than your fair share. I hope you're receiving grief counseling and have a strong support system. There's no shame in short-term medication, if your doctor feels it's necessary. The main thing is to be able to talk about your losses with a caring individual who can help guide you. There are also grief support groups which might be very beneficial to you.

You're in my prayers, honey. If you ever need to unload, feel free to contact me.

jimmight · August 6th, 2012, 01:55 AM

once me committed in a great problems and at least 10 years passed away then i became relaxed that is my better era in which me survive.

keithgay2012 · November 25th, 2012, 01:46 PM

I Too Have Many Losses Close Together. I Go To Chruch Anyway And Sing Songs To Help Me. I Bought Christain Cd To Listen To. I Bought Grief Books To Read And Little Small Books That I Re Read. I Stayed Busy Then I Relaxed During The Thanksgiving Holiday And Rested. I Cry, Have Many Mixed Emotions That I Recognize. I Talk To Who Ever Will Listen. It Is Not My Family That Listens It Is Others Who I Have To Turn To. I Found Grief Support Group I Go To Twice A Week I Could Go More If There Was Another Time. I Am Trying To Improve My Contact With God. He Is Hurting Along With Me. Jesus Didn't Deserve To Die Neithr Did My Family And Friend Who Was Murdered In His Own Home. Jesus Loves Us Even If We Are Angry At Him Pray And Talk To God He Is Waiting For Us To Open Our Hearts To Him He Understand He Lost His One And Only Son. God Loves You Where You Are At.

February 25th, 2009, 10:14 PM	#1
juditha Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1	too many loses i had a rough year last year. i lost 4 close people in my life. two of them was my grandfather and his brother, which died 2 days apart of each other. back to back furneral, which was devasting. but, i dealt with their lose pretty good, for they lived a long life and didn't have to suffer anymore. plus, i got to say my good-byes. then, two weeks after their passings, i lost a close friend and three others that i went to school with, in a terrible accident. my friend was only 26, who was going to go back to school to become a priest. i'm still having a hard time dealing with his death. although i saw him laying there in a coffin and went to his furneral, i still can't believe he's gone. a month after i got married, my father past unsuspectedly. he had a history of heart problems, but seemed healthy. he and my mom got back a week before from their vacation and was at a play the night before with some friends. it was when he was getting ready to go to morining mass that he had a massive heartattack. when i found out i just couldn't believe it, for the day before i was talking to him on the phone and he sounded great. when i call my mom now, i'm always wishing he's going to answer, but he doesn't. i have a hard time looking at my wedding pictures, for that was the last time i saw him alive. i'm just glad he was there to marry me off. after my grandfather's passing, i was thinking of going to church regulary on sundays. but after the death of my friend and father i can't even sit through one mass without breaking down in tears. for my friend was the organist at the chuch of my hometown and my dad was an usher. so, i have a hard time not seeing my dad or hearing my friend play. just when i'm about to reach out to god again he takes people away from me. i just don't know how i'm going to get through this one. for i don't like to talk to people about my feelings, for i feel like i'm a burden. and i'm afraid to go to a doctor about it, for i know they will try to stick me on meds which i'm against. i try to exercise or to do something, but i just don't have the motivation. thank you for listening

March 15th, 2011, 12:14 AM	#3
shawn5 Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3	Hi guys,.. too much losses are also very harmful for the body,..so lose weight according to your body,.... __________________ My Life My Rules

August 12th, 2011, 11:38 PM	#6
Guy Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 18	Hi juditha, Sorry about your loss and pray that they will rest in peace. Wish that in future you will get lots of happiness and love so you will comes out from this state of mind. Do go to church daily and pray for your loved ones who are not among you now. __________________ Guy

August 6th, 2012, 01:55 AM	#9
jimmight Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 2	once me committed in a great problems and at least 10 years passed away then i became relaxed that is my better era in which me survive. __________________ jimmight

January 19th, 2010, 11:48 PM	#2
Muffie Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1	You are definitely depressed in my opinion. I am not sure why you are so opposed to medication if you haven't tried anything. If it doesn't work, you don't need to take it, but if it helps you why wouldn't you at least try something. I think people see medication as a weakness, but it is my belief that if something helps, it is a positive. Please reconsider and see a doctor. You have been through a lot and your depression could worsen.

April 4th, 2011, 09:59 AM	#4
islandsuze Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 3	I too have had many loses over a short period of time 1 includes my teenage son. I understand not wanting to take meds because I have seen several people that seem out of their heads due to their meds. I had the philosophy that I have to deal with my problems now or later the meds just post pone the depression. So I understand not wanting to take meds. I personally dont want to take any meds that make me so doped up I dont remember the people I love. Anyhow, not taking anything for my depression has had a impact on my health. Before this I had no medical problems and now my health is in a downward spiral. I dont know what to blame for this except stress/depression. So looking back I guess if I took something-not anything strong-but something it may have helped me live a more productive life.

July 31st, 2011, 11:53 PM	#5
Graham Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: USA Posts: 15	Well whatever you lose and whatever you gain is the matter of luck and there is no role of your own will and everything is decided as a matter of luck.

January 25th, 2012, 01:11 PM	#8
Bf1964 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 3	Wow honey, you've really had more than your fair share. I hope you're receiving grief counseling and have a strong support system. There's no shame in short-term medication, if your doctor feels it's necessary. The main thing is to be able to talk about your losses with a caring individual who can help guide you. There are also grief support groups which might be very beneficial to you. You're in my prayers, honey. If you ever need to unload, feel free to contact me.

November 25th, 2012, 01:46 PM	#10
keithgay2012 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 2	I Too Have Many Losses Close Together. I Go To Chruch Anyway And Sing Songs To Help Me. I Bought Christain Cd To Listen To. I Bought Grief Books To Read And Little Small Books That I Re Read. I Stayed Busy Then I Relaxed During The Thanksgiving Holiday And Rested. I Cry, Have Many Mixed Emotions That I Recognize. I Talk To Who Ever Will Listen. It Is Not My Family That Listens It Is Others Who I Have To Turn To. I Found Grief Support Group I Go To Twice A Week I Could Go More If There Was Another Time. I Am Trying To Improve My Contact With God. He Is Hurting Along With Me. Jesus Didn't Deserve To Die Neithr Did My Family And Friend Who Was Murdered In His Own Home. Jesus Loves Us Even If We Are Angry At Him Pray And Talk To God He Is Waiting For Us To Open Our Hearts To Him He Understand He Lost His One And Only Son. God Loves You Where You Are At.