dealing with distance and a few other things

overwhelmed07 · January 26th, 2009, 04:53 PM

i am supposed to be getting married in april. my fiance is in the military and currently overseas. we've gotten through so much together, but the distance is extremely hard to deal with. i've been doing it for over 2 years now, and it never gets easier.

...at one point we went through a rough patch, and he said that i should just go find someone who would be here for me all of the time. i know he didnt mean it, but i was very hurt that he had told me that... and i reacted in the worst way possible. i cheated on him... with someone that i barely even knew. it was a huge mistake. i didnt even want to do it, but i was hurt and did the wrong thing. as soon as i did it, all i could do was cry because i just wanted to go back in time and not do what i had done. i love my fiance more than anything, and if i'm not with him then i dont want anyone. i haven't told him what i've done, just because i know he loves me just as much as i love him. i just dont want to hurt him. i feel like me dealing with the guilt from it would be better for him. i just know that he deals with so much doing what he does, and i dont want to put him through more than he's already going through. also, if i were to tell him, i dont know how to tell him while saving our marriage. i worry that things would never be the same between us. we just recently worked out our problems and got our relationship back on track, and i dont want to ruin what we have.

...the only thing is lately i've been constantly upset. i cry more than i've ever cried before. i never feel energetic or upbeat anymore, and i just dont know what to do about it. i know the right thing to do is to talk to him about it, but i just dont want to hurt him. i figured maybe joining an online group could help me with my problems.

AaronTellez20 · February 1st, 2010, 06:11 AM

You have the support from here.. I am new here but joining a forum wasn't new to me.. By the way, honesty is a way to maintain relationship but sometimes, it is best to keep it as secret.

Regards,
Aaron

marcho · March 29th, 2010, 01:47 AM

Hello! Nice forum. I mean this is really helpful. It's the matter of trust and how you deal with the distance is of immense importance. I must say that meeting your loved ones after a long time, the feelings and emotions that arouse in one's heart are priceless and can't be explained in words. That's all i have to say for now. Keep praying.

tiaannew · April 7th, 2010, 09:23 PM

Wouldn't it be nice to have re windable life clock? One could go back and not say that hurtful thing to a now deceased parent. One could spend more time with a child who didn't live to adulthood. Or more time with the one who did and seems adrift. I have 55 yrs of regrets and all I can do is live with them. All I can do is learn from them. Unfortunately I can never un do them. I'm not sure if my opinion was asked for here so ignore me if you'd rather not hear. Telling your fiance might help you feel better, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't make him feel better. Perhaps better to turn it over to your Higher Power whoever or whatever that is for you. Just my 2 cents.

Loomy · November 10th, 2011, 04:24 AM

Hi
Here is a immense pleasure for me that you nicely have the supported from here.. I am new here but joining a forum wasn't new to me.. By the way, honesty is a way to maintain relationship but sometimes, it is best to keep it as secret.

January 26th, 2009, 04:53 PM	#1
overwhelmed07 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1	dealing with distance and a few other things i am supposed to be getting married in april. my fiance is in the military and currently overseas. we've gotten through so much together, but the distance is extremely hard to deal with. i've been doing it for over 2 years now, and it never gets easier. ...at one point we went through a rough patch, and he said that i should just go find someone who would be here for me all of the time. i know he didnt mean it, but i was very hurt that he had told me that... and i reacted in the worst way possible. i cheated on him... with someone that i barely even knew. it was a huge mistake. i didnt even want to do it, but i was hurt and did the wrong thing. as soon as i did it, all i could do was cry because i just wanted to go back in time and not do what i had done. i love my fiance more than anything, and if i'm not with him then i dont want anyone. i haven't told him what i've done, just because i know he loves me just as much as i love him. i just dont want to hurt him. i feel like me dealing with the guilt from it would be better for him. i just know that he deals with so much doing what he does, and i dont want to put him through more than he's already going through. also, if i were to tell him, i dont know how to tell him while saving our marriage. i worry that things would never be the same between us. we just recently worked out our problems and got our relationship back on track, and i dont want to ruin what we have. ...the only thing is lately i've been constantly upset. i cry more than i've ever cried before. i never feel energetic or upbeat anymore, and i just dont know what to do about it. i know the right thing to do is to talk to him about it, but i just dont want to hurt him. i figured maybe joining an online group could help me with my problems.

March 29th, 2010, 01:47 AM	#3
marcho Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 1	Hello! Nice forum. I mean this is really helpful. It's the matter of trust and how you deal with the distance is of immense importance. I must say that meeting your loved ones after a long time, the feelings and emotions that arouse in one's heart are priceless and can't be explained in words. That's all i have to say for now. Keep praying. __________________ marcho

November 10th, 2011, 04:24 AM	#5
Loomy Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 13	Hi Here is a immense pleasure for me that you nicely have the supported from here.. I am new here but joining a forum wasn't new to me.. By the way, honesty is a way to maintain relationship but sometimes, it is best to keep it as secret. __________________ Loomy

February 1st, 2010, 06:11 AM	#2
AaronTellez20 Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 7	You have the support from here.. I am new here but joining a forum wasn't new to me.. By the way, honesty is a way to maintain relationship but sometimes, it is best to keep it as secret. Regards, Aaron

April 7th, 2010, 09:23 PM	#4
tiaannew aunt anne Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: College Station, Tx Posts: 2	Wouldn't it be nice to have re windable life clock? One could go back and not say that hurtful thing to a now deceased parent. One could spend more time with a child who didn't live to adulthood. Or more time with the one who did and seems adrift. I have 55 yrs of regrets and all I can do is live with them. All I can do is learn from them. Unfortunately I can never un do them. I'm not sure if my opinion was asked for here so ignore me if you'd rather not hear. Telling your fiance might help you feel better, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't make him feel better. Perhaps better to turn it over to your Higher Power whoever or whatever that is for you. Just my 2 cents.