Here I am

[iamcc]

Hi there,

I do hope that I can find someone to talk to here, I am so sad and so lonely.

When I look at my life from outside I think WOW awesome life, what more could I want, I have just what I love, my kids, my husband, my home, I am happy with everything, well I should be....but I am just not.

I just want to leave, I don't want to put up with this anymore, I am over it....what am I supposed to do though, I can't leave my kids, I can't leave my husband, but even if I could is that what I want???

What is wrong with me? I can't stand this anymore. I know I need to go and see someone to control this before it gets even worse but taking that step is so hard.

Help me please....

[spiritsoaring]

iamcc,
I'm new here too. I don't have an answer for you. Today, I know I'm trying still to be positive about my life, hard and impossible as it seems sometimes,
(my life, that is).

I am seeing a therapist. It only does so much.

Take this or leave it, but maybe you could start looking for a counselor, and while you're at it, give yourself a break. What can you do for an hour, or an evening that feeds your spirit, soul, mind? What have you wanted to investigate but haven't, whether it's a restaurant, a movie, or a mountain?
What baby step can you take to bring you closer to that interest?

[iamcc]

Hi there,

I had a shitty morning, tears and tantrums would describe it best, I just don't want to "do" anything anymore. I know what you mean about finding a counselor, it is what I have been thinking that I need for weeks now but it is making myself go and find one that is the hard part, but the longer I leave it the deeper I go.

So are you one medication? That is one of the biggest reasons why I don't want to go see my Dr as last time I went in she wanted to put me on meds and I am really not that keen to do so, I really need to get myself in there and get myself an appointment, my last therapist is no longer working which is horrible cause she was great, I dread what sort of person I will be able to see.

You know one thing I really hate is ll the negative talk and self doubt that goes on in my head, it drives me batty, I know I have worked through this before and I know I can come out of it again but it is how low I get before I get help that scares me.

I have tried to do the little steps but it is just not really working, I am even at the point where I just don't "want" to do anything for me, how do I take that first little step if there is nothing that interests me enough to spare myself some time?

I feel lonely and feel that if i can talk to someone it might help, slowly slowly get things out, not that I feel there is too much to get out but just feeling as though someone is listening would be good. What I had hoped to find on here was like an instant chat room thing, I really felt like that is what I needed last night but was unable to find anything like that.

Thanks for replying, hopefully we can talk again soon and maybe help each other through some stuff!

xo